Whatever. Week 6 Preview. Is this even fun anymore?

Seriously. This guy. I lost to stupid Neil last week by one stupid point, one stupid freaking point. Who is to blame? This guy right here. MSW was dropped an hour before kick off because he spent the night before banging some slut from Seattle. Naturally when this announcement was made I was deep in the mobile-reception-free basement of our Sunday Evening Fantasy League Den so I was not informed until it was too late. My second receiver slot gained me no points. All he would have needed was 20 yards and I would have got my well deserved victory. So thanks a fucking bunch, Mike Sims-Walker. You colossal douche.

Contrastingly, a genuine thanks to the Seattle slut who bedded him the night before his big game at Qwest. Thanks to this lovely lady Garrard had no one to throw the ball to, and this greatly contributed to the 44-0 shellacking my 'hawks delivered on the hapless Jags. Despite my fantasy rape, I woke up with a spring in my step on Monday morning, because natural order had been imposed. Seattle are going to win the NFC West again, and all is good.

Ok fantasy weasels. Here were last week's scores.

Wranglers 79-78 Dogs

Box Turtles 61-94 Red Tops

Goblins 77-89 Bulls

Tantrum 86-101 Giant Rats

H'Birds 71-63 Warriors

B'makers 83-101 Hustle

Special shout out to the Baillie brothers for what is possibly the worst match up of the season so far in the MTL. I'm assuming Mark feels relieved and Jonny feels stupid. That's how they should feel anyway.

The standings after 5 weeks...

Ugh, the East is a shit storm. Burr must be feeling pretty great right now, the division is his for the taking. I'm very worried about the Giant Rats taking a comfortable lead in the West, as the single wildcard spot will be hotly contested. The Central division seems to be where the talent is, and probably where that wildcard is going.

Before we get into the preview, I was going to link to a great Ochocinco ustream video, where he talks, at length, about how he felt, before during and after the Ray Lewis hit last weekend. Apparently when he was in midair, he saw a bright light and started moving toward it, but then... nope. He landed and was totally fine. It's the funniest thing I saw all week, but I can't find it. If anyone can, please do comment with a link. 

So yeah, here's your week 6 preview.

ESPN Lines

H'birds (+31) @ Tantrum (-31)

Warriors (-35) @ B'makers (+35)

Bulls (-2) @ Giant Rats (+2)

Goblins (+13) @ Box Turtles (-13)

Prairie Dogs (-12) @ Hustle (+12)

Red Tops (+13) @ Wranglers (-13)

Commish Picks

I sucked royally last week, only 2 from 6, ESPN crushed me and got them all right. Woohoo for the Disney Corp.

TANTRUM over H'Birds

The Tantrum have a frighteningly good match up this week, at all positions. It's just a lucky week, but yeah, Ryan Grant and Cedric Benson have nice match ups, and there is a nice battle at tight end, Shockey and Winslow. Can Braylon Edwards continue to reinvigorate his career this week? We'll see. The H'Birds have a decent week but struggle at WR, and I think it'll cost them. Stupid Hollingworth.

Sometimes punching King James' buddies pays off I guess...

WARRIORS over B'Makers

A slightly closer affair here. I give the Warriors the edge primarily because of the RB match ups. Westbrook and Moore vs AD and Moreno. I guess it depends on how fit Buckhalter is by Monday night. There's a Jackson battle at WR, DeSean and Vincent, but with the Eagles D and Gostkowski at K, the Warriors sneak it.

GIANT RATS over Bulls

Maybe this is it for the Baby Bulls? I feel I keep predicting this and it never comes true. No hard feelings Burrows. Running backs are interesting again, DeAngelo and Cadillac Williams against MJD (due a bounce back after Seattle SHUT.HIM.DOWN.) and Ray Rice. The Bulls need Brandon Marshall to keep firing on all cylinders, because the Rats are stacked at WR this week. Jennings, Ward and Kevin Walter all look good for a big week.

Whiny douchebag.

TURTLES over Goblins

This is a close one. The Boys from Biloxi have nada at RB this week, but look good at WR if the Patriot machine takes care of business. The Goblins hope for another big game from Roddy White, and that Slow Willie Parker doesn't take too many carries away from Rashard Mendenhall. I like the Turtles, because i'm playing Tom Brady and I need him to go off. If Brady goes off, so do Welker and Moss, and the Turtles win. Boom.

PRAIRIE DOGS over Hustle

So I pick my team last week and nothing but fate beats me. I'm sticking with it. The Hustle look good this week, Hightower, Fitzgerald, The Black Mexican and Manningham. But I think I can sneak it, ironically due to the players I tried to trade away this week. I maintain the trade is a good idea, and would have benefitted me long term this season. For those reasons i'm going to work out a similar deal this week, and if you assholes veto it again... Trouble. Notice the capital T. But for this week, i'm not as mad as I perhaps should have been. Santana Moss, Brady, Sims-Walker and HOUSH. Hoping Jermichael Finley does a good job too. But still nothing at running back. I've picked up Derrick Ward, I don't know if i'll play him. I'm cursed.

I don't lik rooting against you Esteban. You're my boy. But I hope you kiss da baby this week.

WRANGLERS over Red Tops

I feel like i've picked against Steve every week. I'm sorry Steve. You know you're my homie. These stupid Wranglers look decent this week though. Rodgers will likely be QB of the week. The Red Tops have a shot if Calvin Johnson is still hurt, and if Matt Forte can pull another performance out of his ass.

Weekly Rankings

1- Tantrum

2- Giant Rats

3- Prairie Dogs

4- Turtles

5- Hustle

6- Wranglers

7- Baby Bulls

8- Goblins

9- Warriors

10- H'Birds

11- Red Tops

12- B'Makers

Here's to another weekend of sport. Baseball, Villa, Red River Rivalry, and another NFL Sunday. God bless. Eyes on the Sea-Fence guys, Seattle and the P'Dogs are going 3-3.