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What's in the box?!

22Jan2010
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On Wednesday I got a taste of what it's like to be Chris Porter when the delivery man came and gave me this huge package.

Can you guess what was inside? I'll give you a few lines to think.

 

Thinking...

 

Still thinking...

 

Okay... 

 

Yes that's right, it was an entire squash racquet.

Let me tell you that I am only slightly exaggerating when I say that this racquet looks like it was beamed down to Earth from space. In the future. By aliens. How does it play? Deliciously. So fucking deliciously. Is there anything better in life than getting new shit? I really don't think there is.

P.S. My left knee very nearly popped out today while playing.... Scary, swollen, sore and semi-crippled are the four S's of the day.

P.P.S. J! E! T! S! JETS! JETS! JETS!

Observations Regarding Squash Racquet Advertisement

15Jan2010
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Today my strings snapped.
 
 
I can't get my racquet restrung because the man in Greaves said that my frame is cracked, although I think that the man in Greaves is wrong, but obviously despite being a man, I don't work in Greaves so I will give him the benefit of the doubt. 
 
After extensive research of squash racquets online I have uncovered the three secret methods that all racquet companies use to try to sell you their racquets year after year.
 

1. Nomenclature

Give your racquet an exciting name that will inspire primal aggression; e.g. "Dunlop Ass Violator", "Prince Genocide Killer Pro", "Karakal Terrorism Torture GT", "Browning Murder Death Kill", "Wilson Speed Raper", and "Wilson Speed Raper X5".

2. Science

Claim to have synthesised a completely new kind of material that has ridiculous sounding futuristic properties; e.g. "With new Hyper NanoStrontiumX-3 Technology, our frames are, for the first time ever, able to counter the effects of gravity itself, giving you up to 10 times greater momentum." Following this, go on to explain how it will make all my shots 12% more accurate because let's be honest, I'm at such a high level of squash that the only thing holding me back is my equipment.

3. Statistics

Measure the attributes of your racquet using brightly coloured bars that are all very nearly at 100%.

As you can see, the orange racquet has one more power than the yellow racquet but has one less control and one less touch/feel... That whole one control could destroy my entire game, but on the other hand I could hit the ball one unit harder... WWJD????? 

So with this new knowledge I am going to make an informed, intelligent decision about getting a new racquet. After almost four years of service it saddens me to say...

Good bye, Hot Melt Pro. I sucked. But you? You were excellent.

Far Flung: An Ultimate Frisbee Club

5Jan2010
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So here it is. My very first film and the only thing that mattered to me all of last term... Watch it right here. I really hope you enjoy it.

A synopsis...

As a new term dawns in 2009 the Glasgow University Ultimate Frisbee Club begins another season with fresh legs, renewed vigour and brand new hopes and dreams.

Learn about the greatest University sport in the world and follow the emotional story of the women'™s and men'™s captains as they lead their teams to compete in Scotland for places at the UK University Indoor Nationals. 

 

Super Magic Sparkle Angelfish Go! 5: Hyper R' finish 4th in Belfast Christmas Cracker 2009

27Dec2009
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It was only a year ago that The Angelfish made their debut at the annual Christmas tournament held in Belfast. Since then The Fish have competed in four tournaments and one league in a very active year of ultimate frisbee. Their day at the Christmas Cracker was not met without problems as a cancelled flight and a broken down bus meant that key player, Ryan Mulligan, had to miss the first two matches.
 
Despite this, The Angelfish came out of the pool stages as 6th seed and went on to edge out Dublin-based Broccoli in a very intense 3 v 6 match that was won almost entirely on what Captain Philip Chan described as "epic defence". The Fish finished the day placed 4th.
 
 
The Fish have made incredible progress in a year, having gone from a beginners' team to a team that can now be competitive in Northern Ireland. Their success and ever expanding ranks seem to be a direct consequence of the enthusiasm and camaraderie that define the team. Those interested in playing frisbee with The Fish could do worse than to visit their Facebook page.
 
Festivities did not end with the tournament as the first annual Belfast Ultimate Christmas Dinner Dance took place at Park Avenue Hotel in East Belfast. The impressive attendance acted as a fitting marker for the state of ultimate in Northern Ireland - ever growing, stronger than ever and slightly drunk. 
 

Season's Greetings

25Dec2009
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Boredom leads to prettiness. Please notice the amazing new splash pages here, here and here. And the new "Football" link sitting nicely on the ever expanding navigation bar. Merry Christmas. :)

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